Music Festival 101

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It is that time of year again - music festival season. It is when the lineups are announced and festivals compete for our attendance. So, if you've never been before, here is my music festival guide for all you Bonnarookies, Jam virgins, and first time Coachellans.

Chose wisely
There are a lot of music festivals out there, so how do you choose? First, look at how far you have to travel. Also think about whether or not you like to camp and are okay with battling the elements. Remember, it rains at Mountain Jam and it's hot in Tennessee.

 

Go with friends
This will guarantee you a great time. If you hit the festival solo, you're in a lottery with your fellow campers. Camping with friends allows you to not only enjoy an awesome time together, but avoid what could potentially be awkwardness if you don't have great vibes with your fellow campers. Also, if you're not into the full on festival camping experience, you can always look at options "off campus". Look at local camp grounds, hotels (they can get pricey) or rentals. Also, RV's can be the way to go.

 

 

Plan ahead
This is key. Remember, most stores close to the festival will be sold out or will jack up prices. If you're going with friends, divide and conquer. Maybe one of you has an awesome stove and someone else has a nice outdoor camping shower. Divide up your shopping list, making sure you know what you can and can't have in the campsite. Bring food, beverages, and water. This will cost you a lot once you're in the festival. Save the money for souvenirs or a nice hotel post festival. Don't forget to plan for the weather.

 

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Don't anticipate much sleep
Seriously - don't. Most music festivals go 24 hours a day. Again, this involves planning. All music festivals will have a lineup via app so you can choose wisely who you need to see. Some of the best moments happen in the wee hours of the morning when you aren't expecting it. But, for safety, you should try and get some sleep, especially if you have a long drive home, or you get incredibly annoying if you're sleep deprived.

 

Fucking Hydrate
Yes, I said that and I cannot stress it enough!!  It is a long weekend usually in the hot sun. You don't want to be the one wimping out on Saturday or ending up at the medical clinic. Drink water at your campsite and during the festival. Most festivals allow you to bring in unopened bottles of water. Do yourself and your friends a favor - hydrate.

Don't YouTube and Instagram  the entire event...let the professionals do that
I've stopped going to as many shows because I don't want to deal with watching you tape a show. It's cool to snap a picture or take a five second clip, but after that you annoy me. There are people paid to film the show. Most of the time you can see your favorite moments captured on the live stream, Instagram, or from awesome concert photographers like Danny Clinch. I get it, you want to share that moment, but realize you're limiting other's enjoyment.

Choosing bands- possibly the toughest decision of your young life
Flaming Lips or Daryl Hall, Alabama Shakes or Mumford and Sons. It just ain't fair. Those responsible for the lineups are playing God and they know it. Sometimes you have to chose. It's important to have these decisions worked out with your friends as well. You don't want that argument to happen and you miss a super jam between Jimmy Page, Flea, Eugene Hutz, and Nicole Atkins (wouldn't that be amazeballs). Also, make sure to check out bands you've never heard of. It could be your next favorite band of all time.

 

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Prepare for the most insane music moments
You never see it coming. That music moment that is forever seared in your soul. It's a mix of things that make it "that moment." It could be the song that never stops in the middle of a monsoon, the amalgam of the atmosphere, the moment, and the crowd, or it's the song itself that just drives home to ever single cell in your body.

I've had several of these moments and it definitely alters something inside of you. Thousands of people connecting with the international language of music to one moment in time is something you have to experience.

Here is one of my favorite moments. It was from Bonnaroo 2oo8. It was Pearl Jam's first festival since a tragedy in Europe that had killed several festival goers. It was hot that night and they were well over an hour into the set. I was walking with a drummer friend at the back of the crowd and when this song began, everyone had their lighters and cell phones lit and I commented it looked like a constellation. Everyone was singing along and it was if the world only existed on the farm in Tennessee at that moment. It was a moment I will forever cherish.

So go forth and conquer your first festival and make some new memories with new and old friends.

 

Sing and Rejoice: Faith No More Angel Dust

On the wings of their quirky, psycho-rap hit single Epic, Faith No More’s third album, The Real Thing, flew past the platinum mark. So what do they do for an encore? They create what is probably the most uncommercial follow-up to a hit record ever. [i]

 

Before June 8, 1992, if someone said Faith No More, you automatically would have thought, did the fish die? It was the MTV generation and the California band with new lead singer Mike Patton had found fame with their two biggest hits to date, Epic and Falling to Pieces. Beyond that, not many knew the sound or songs. While their third studio album, The Real Thing, put them on the map, it would be their fourth album with Mike Patton sharing creativity and writing credits for the first time that would give them their most respected album to date. Think Funkadelic’s Maggot Brain when you want to try to categorize each song on the album. If the album cover yin yang of a blue egret and a butcher shop doesn’t forewarn you about what’s to come, shame on you.

For those who tuned into Headbangers Ball to see and hear the most anticipated
follow up, they would not be disappointed. Some were confused. And the band took the biggest gamble getting away from safe songs that would make the airwaves and MTV’s top 10. Midlife Crisis was as if someone took the video for Epic and handed it the design over to Danzig. It was darker, creatively palatable with blurred shots, closeups, and varied palettes of texture. And the song? It was a kick to the more simple sound of Epic. Patton’s vocals were both harmonious and demonic, layers of sound, samples, with that driving Faith No More sound (think Real Thing and Epic).

The album was creatively applauded and to this day still received high honors. In reality, the album was holding up a mirror to society. “I drove around a lot in my Honda,” Patton says, “Drove to a real bad area of town, parked and just watched people. Coffee shops and white-trash diner-type places were great for inspiration.” [ii] It would be the last album with Jim Martin and possibly the best Faith No More gave us.

The early 90’s were a weird time for bands. You made it on one or two videos and then the world expected you to keep churning out the same hits. Faith No More chose artistry, pushing back against what labels wanted, and took a risk. What we got was an album that reflected more of who the individual band members were and a lasting album that was more than the sum of its parts. 

Land of Sunshine

If this was the first song to be released (via or airwaves) it would have disappointed many who would have immediately recognized the throwback to From Out of Nowhere. It’s a great song, and maybe the slow peeling of the band aid, transitioning from the last album to this. Okay, down to the bass, it sounds very similar. But it’s catchy damn it, so pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake … cause everything is not yet lost. This song was written while sleep deprived and inspired by personality test questions and fortune cookie fortunes. [iii]

Caffeine

Sleep deprivation in a song. This is so how it feels when you’re just trying to stay awake, maybe with animal sounds.

Midlife Crisis

Otherwise known as “the Madonna song.” Hey it was the 90’s and Blonde Ambition was the rage, Madonna was wearing pointy cone bras, chasing JFK jr., and shooting her book, Sex. They called a spade a spade.

RV

Time to slow it down. This sad song makes me thing of a washed-up Elvis impersonator who lives in a trailer park, drinks too much, and speaks in stream of consciousness.

Smaller and Smaller

This is a beautifully written tragic poem – with a great bass line.

Drought makes the workers dream

Muscles and fields of green

Shovel the last few crumbs

Of generosity

Open heart, open mind, open mouth, open vein

Drain

Someday the rains will come

My blistered hands tell me

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow

Everything’s Ruined

Everything about the video is ruined, don’t watch it. It’s a wonderful song about the evils of money. Again, with the classic, driving Faith No More sound.

Malpractice

Not sure if this the song where they sample from The Wizard of Oz, but it sure feels like we’re not in Kansas anymore. It is, however, a song about a woman who loves getting plastic surgery.

Kindergarten

A brilliant song written by an angry 5-year-old. Seriously, the lyrics are brilliant and sad, the angry questioning possibly born within.

Drinking fountains are shorter than they used to be

The swings on the playground don't even fit me anymore

Folklore: Nobody's supposed to believe in the next grade

Write it a hundred times

Kingdom

Kindergarten

Waiting

Bell's not ringing

Held back again

Be Aggressive

If my mother hated that underwear poster, she really would have hated this song. Nothing like cheerleaders and aggressive fellatio, right?

 

A Small Victory

Yet another sad song about learning that there is a lot of pressure on youth to win. The video is a psychological look at that pressure of winning. They also should have saved some of the video budget on this song for Everything’s Ruined.

 

Jizzlober

Heavy, angry, ""It's written about some porno star, but I don't remember his name," he said. "I'm not the porno expert in the group!" Billy Gould. 

 

Midnight Cowboy

I watched the movie because of this instrumental. Thank you, Faith No More, for introducing me to a beautiful movie.

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[i] Garza, Janiss (July 10, 1992). "Angel Dust". Entertainment Weekly. Retrieved July 9, 2008.

[ii] Circus Magazine 1992; Patton Enjoys the Diner Things in Life

[iii] Reflex Magazine Issue 25, June 1992; Faith No More: Angel Dust in the wind by Jem Aswad