Music has always been a part of my life -- now welcome to the journey. Just a little blog to reminisce, review, rant and rave about the music in my life. "Music is my mother and my father. It is my work and my rest,my blood, my compass, my love" ~Jeff Buckley
While in year's past, the ringing in of the first day of the year is aways the symbolic new start, this promise of a clean slate in 2022 seems more fantasy than fact for many. But as we've done in the past two years, maybe some shifting of our old ways needs to happen. Call it self-preservation if you'd like, many have taken the turmoil of the last two years and started to Marie Kondo their lives: more life in the work-life balance, staying away from toxic relationships, tuning out from social media, becoming more involved in community, and setting and achieving new goals. Others see the new year as the gut check to assess and keep going on what they've built.
All in all - be kind to yourself and to others. Don't forget to show yourself respect in addition to others. We've spent too many years trying to outdo one another and not paying any attention to ourselves as well as our loved ones. We've spent the last few years understanding the importance of togetherness and compassion - and that's something that needs to keep moving forward year in and year out.
Musically, 2021 did give us back live music and some great new albums. Adele, Billie Elish, Nicole Atkins, Wolf Alice, and Robert Plant and Alison Kraus all used 2020 to work on new materials. And live shows also made a comeback. And being in that audience for the first time in so long was simply magic.
And watching Get Back! was such a gifted highlight. Even if you're not a Beatles fan, what Peter Jackson did was allow us to peer into a part of music history in a special way, warts and all.
And while there is a little flashback over the holidays, there is still promise of new shows and fresh new albums. The amount of creativity in our artists is paramount. These next few years will see them gifting us with what has been stirred within them over the past few years.
To quote my spiritual guru, George Harrison
Yesterday, today was tomorrow
And tomorrow, today will be yesterday
May your New Year be what you desire it to be: a new beginning, just another day, or something else entirely. Have a happy, safe, healthy, and brave new year.
My New Year's Eve Prayer
by Jeff Buckley
performed live at Sin-é NYC
1996.
You my love are allowed to forget about the Christmas you just spent stressed out in your parents house
You my love are allowed to shed the weight of
all the years before like bad disco clothes, save them for a night of dancing,
stoned with you lover
You my love are allowed to let yourself drown
every night in bottomless wild and naked symbolic dreams
You my love in sleep can unlock your youth and
your most terrifying magic and dreaming is for the courageous
You my love are allowed to grab my guitar and
sing me idiot love songs if you lost your ability to speak, keep it down to
two minutes
You my love are allowed to rot and to die and to
live again more alive and incandescent than before
You my love are allowed to beat the shit out of
your television, choke it's thoughts and corrupt its mind k*ll k*ll k*ll k*ll
the motherf**ker before the song of zombiefied pain and panic and malaise and
its narrow right winged vision and its cheap commercial gang rate becomes the
white noise of the world (turn about is fair play)
You my love are allowed to forgive and love your
television
You my love are allowed to speak in kisses to
those around you and those up in heaven
You my love are allowed to show your babies how
to dance full bodied, starry eyed, audacious, supernatural and glorified
You my love are allowed to suck in every single
endeavor
You my love are allowed to be soaked like a
lovers blanket in the New Yorksummertime with the wonder of your own special gift
Okay ... so many of you are likely aware of the I've been writing this story. Said story started as a screenplay. Said story then began to take form of a longer than short story after I lived in Belfast. However, parts still aren't quite right. And the ending still eludes me.
A few days ago - a song pops into my head when walking to the train. Nothing by Depeche Mode
What am I trying to do?
What am I trying to say?
I'm not trying to tell you anything
You didn't know when you woke up today
Sitting target
Sitting praying
God is saying
Nothing
Depeche Mode has inspired another story with their words (those characters got an ending, by the way. See Red Square Dawn for their story). Today, for whatever reason, this song made the synapses transmit a memory of this story to my neurons, which in turn said - you finally have the answer to that third scene.
I needed character tension, some allusion to possible romantic feelings, and also the underlying feeling that there is an unspoken trust and bond between these two.
If you'd like to continue - let me set the stage. Abbi Connolly is home in West Belfast after a very long evening at the emergency department where she works as a nurse. She is visited by her long-time best friend, Liam. I kept on trying to make them have this important and cryptic conversation about David, Abbi's husband. I could never find the words.
*******************
It’s almost midnight as Abbi sits
at the table in an almost dark kitchen trying to read about advances in spinal
trauma. She squints, shakes her head, rubs her eyes, and flips back to the
previous page of the article the head doctor of the emergency department gave
all of the nurses to read. As she begins the first paragraph for the third
time, she hears steps on the back porch. Two knocks and the door opens. Liam always appears to be in some state of dishevelment and always with a book in his hand. His black eyes and the wild mop of black hair suit the man who thankfully outgrew his shyness.
“Abigail,”
he says to her quietly.
“Liam,”
Abbi greets him with a relaxed smile as she slides the article aside.
“Beer?”
He asks as he’s already removed two cold bottles from the refrigerator and
popped the caps onto the counter.
Abbi shakes her head yes as Liam slides a chair closer to her, hands her the beer, and places his notebook on
the table. “I knew David would be late
tonight.”
“What
are you hearing? Are the peace talks fallin’ apart Liam?” Abbi rubs her eyes
before taking a drink of beer. Today’s attack on the British soldiers is so far
the pinnacle of tension between the Irish Republicans and the Loyalists.
“Yer,
askin’ me? Your own bloody husband is sittin’ in those secret talks I hear
about on the BBC and yer askin’ me?” Liam gulps down his beer.
“You
know he doesn’t tell me a thing and apparently you don’t either, mister
newspaper writer.” Abbi smiles before taking a drink. “You’re both bloody
worthless.”
Liam puts his beer down and motions for Abbi to lean in towards him. Hesitantly, but also sarcastically, she leans towards Liam.
"Journalist," he whispers to her.
She laughs and whispers back. "A bloody worthless journalist."
Bobby,
who was in bed, patters into the kitchen. “Mommy,” he says quietly as climbs
into Liam’s lap.
“I
thought you were sleeping little man.” Liam wraps his arms around his godson.
“Do
you want me to read you a story?” Abbi removes the single sock remaining on her
son’s feet.
He
quietly says, “No. Liam,” and puts his head on Liam’s chest.
Abbi smiles at both of them.
Liam
leans forward with Bobby. “How about a kiss for yer ma?”
Bobby
gives Abbi a kiss and a gentle pat on her face. Abbi gently takes his hand and gives it a kiss before Liam stands with his godson. They leave the room chatting about giants.
Abbi
takes a long sip of her beer, stands, walks to the counter, and turns on the
radio. She opens the refrigerator to look for something to snack on, tossing a
few things in the garbage in the process. Her head lost in her thoughts and in
the vegetable drawer, she doesn’t hear Liam come back downstairs until he turns
up the radio.
“Jesus,”
she hits her head off a shelf.
“Sorry.
He’s sound asleep again.”
“Hungry? How do you feel about leftover Chinese?”
Before she turns around, she feels Liam’s presence very close to her. “Liam?" She
turns to find see him standing directly behind her. He places his hand on her arm, letting it linger a few seconds before
taking a step back.
Abbi takes another two beers from the
refrigerator, pops the caps off, and walks past Liam towards the table. When
she sits, she takes a long drink of the beer as Liam makes his way to the other
chair. He sits and slides his chair closer to Abbi.
Abbi slides her shirt sleeves over her hands and then leans onto the table,
crossing her arms. She tilts her head slightly.
“What’s so important that it couldn’t wait until,” she pauses and looks at the
clock before looking back at him, “six hours from now when you’re here having
breakfast?”
He runs his hand nervously through his unwieldy hair. “Em...nothing." He taps his knuckle on his ever-present book.
She sits disappointed by her own anticipation. Bad news, a rumor, the need to pass along information, Abbi almost looks embarrassed as she holds back a bemused smile. Nervously, she starts to flip through the book Liam put on the table.
"Who is Ted Sorensen?" She sits back and begins to read some of the pages.
Liam excitedly smiles, "President Kennedy's advisor. I just sometimes need to read something other than ... well, about here."
Abbi's smile turns into a laugh as Liam goes on about Kennedy's advisor. She should be checking the doors, making sure Bobby is safe asleep, and headed to bed herself. But sometimes, nothing is better.
I don't remember exactly when it happened. I don't remember the moment where I transcended liking U2 to having to understand every word of every song they sang. Like many, The Joshua Tree was first U2 album that I owned. It was actually one of the first CDs that I owned (Kick was the other).
When I really started to listen to and read the lyrics, I understood that they were more than your average rock band. U2 was trying to tell you something. U2 became, and still is, the rock band with a conscience.
Larry Mullen, Adam Clayton, The Edge (Dave Evans), and Bono (Paul Hewson) joined forces in the late 70's, just some kids from the Mount Temple School that wanted to make music. 11 O'clock Tick Tock was the first the "world" heard of U2.
All of the elements of quintessential U2 are present: Clayton's very present bass lines, The Edge's signature guitar sound, Larry's fast snare, and Bono, the preacher man. Their religious upbringing helped shape many of their songs, especially on Boy and October. The songs were mainly about teen angst and religion with Out of Control, I Will Follow and Gloria being the best known from those albums.
Politics really entered into U2's realm with the War album in 1983 with songs such as Sunday Bloody Sunday, New Year's Day, and Seconds (one of only a handful of songs The Edge would sing). 40, based on Psalm 40, still makes the concert rounds. Under a Blood Red Sky and Unforgettable Fire would propel U2 into their role as super group and world savers. The biggest song for them with Pride (In the Name of Love) would ready them for what would come next.
We must give credit to Sir Bob Geldof here. I truly think that he influenced Bono by way of showing him what was going on in the world. It was the 80's and there was a hunger crisis in Africa. Enter: Live Aid. U2's performance at Live Aid was one of their best and when Bono danced with that young lady from the crowd, we knew a true showman was born. But what Live Aid also did was it took Bono and his wife, Alison Stewart, to Africa. Their visit influenced one of rock's biggest selling albums, 1987's The Joshua Tree.
Every single song on The Joshua Tree could have been a hit. The haunting sounds of Where the Streets Have no Name, Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, and the almost disturbing With or Without You were on rotation on every radio station ... and on MTV. Yes, the age of video most definitely helped U2 close the loop on being the number one band at the time. Not only did you get to hear them, you got to see Bono's brooding, The Edge's hats, and we were introduced to the genius of well thought and produced music videos.
Most don't realize this about The Joshua Tree: it's political. At least six of the songs on the album are about political corruption in the US, Columbia, disappearances, drug abuse issues, starvation, and hopelessness. Bono wanted to be the voice of the voiceless and give hope to the hopeless.
The tour that followed gave us Rattle and Hum, the album and movie. We were essentially on this journey with U2, yes, to quote Larry Mullen, Jr. It was a "musical journey." They had the world at their fingertips. The cover of Time, top selling albums and being called the best band in the world. But what made U2, U2, happened on December 30, 1989
Go away and dream it all up again...
What everyone wanted was The Joshua Tree again but that they were not going to get. What we got was Achtung Baby and a schizophrenic Bono wearing devil horns and pleather suits.
Achtung took many by surprise. It was different, but they liked it. I still cannot and refuse to compare Achtung and Joshua Tree. U2 reinvented themselves but the world was doing the same thing. Tiananmen Square was fresh on everyone's minds, the Berlin Wall fell and East and West were now one. U2 was actually in Berlin when the re-unification happened. This and the entire story of that period of the band's existence is told brilliantly by Bill Flanagan in U2 At the End of the World. Bono faces eviction without his pants, might be the best opening to any bio I have ever read. The world was changing and U2 was leading the charge.
Next up - ZooTV and Zooropa. Again, U2 would conquer the world via live performance. The stage, complete with screens of all sizes, was a tribute to the out of control TV and satellite world that we live in. Each night, Bono (usually MacPhisto) would call someone on his phone. The world was Bono's stage. And in the political atmosphere of the late 80's and early 90's Bono was a kid in a candy store. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69Gak4X2Jlc
Now, say what you will about the next album, I loved it (the tour was ok too if you can get over the Lemon Space Ship). Pop. It was disco-y and quirky but relevant. Songs like Please and Staring at the Sun question the violence in our world.
All That You Can't Leave Behind brought U2 away from the supersized techno glitz and re-invented themselves yet again with stripped down, but magnificent songs. Beautiful Day, Kite, Walk On, and Stuck in a Moment brought the fandom back to U2. But it would be the Super Bowl where U2 would bring the world to its knees in one of the most beautiful tributes to 9/11 I have ever seen. The names of those lost, floating up to heaven, never forgotten. In case any of you are wondering what Bono says before the song starts, he is reciting a portion of Psalm 116:
What can I give back to God For the blessings he's poured out on me I'll lift hig the cup of salvation A toast to God
I'll pray in the name of God I'll complete what I promised God I'll do And I'll do it together with his people
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, No Line on the Horizon brought U2 back on the road, and of course Under the Brooklyn Bridge.
And then a moment of who let the band decide that it would be a good idea to place your new album on everyone's iPhone. However ... Songs of Innocence was a really good 13th album for U2. The longest release gap between albums saw what would be a tribute to the band's personal lives and inspirations. Songs of Experience followed three years later (delayed by Brexit and Bono's Central Park bicycle incident) and was a heavier and more welcomed sound for the band.
I am certain though, that every word of every song is methodically planned. A bible verse, a political jab, or an historical moment woven perfectly into the melodies.
Bono, Modern Day Psalm Writer
It is no secret that Bono loves the role of front man, but Bono is also morally conscience and seems to always be looking for something to tell the world about. To me, he is our modern day King David. Bono writes our psalms for us. He also does not shy away from his belief of God. He penned a wonderful piece in the Guardian prior to the release of a new version of The Psalms in 1999. An excerpt:
David was a star, the Elvis of the Bible, if we can believe the chiselling of Michelangelo. And unusually for such a "rock star," with his lust for power, lust for women, lust for life, he had the humility of one who knew his gift worked harder than he ever would. He even danced naked in front of his troops -- the biblical equivalent of the royal walkabout. David was definitely more performance artist than politician.http://www.atu2.com/news/psalm-like-it-hot.html
The deep religious roots that almost drove the band out of existence in the 1980's still thrives within him. He's a humanitarian, a philanthropist, and a family man. I look forward to what he has to say next.
*U2 fanatics might get the title reference.
Excellent U2 reads: Walk On Spiritual Journey of U2 - Steve Stockman U2 At the End of the World - Bill Flanagan Into the Heart - Niall Stokes
On Ten,Pearl Jam — descended from the late, lamented Mother Love Bone —
hurtles into the mystic at warp speed. Singer-lyricist Eddie
Vedder sometimes lets his words get way ahead
of his good intentions: “I don’t question/Our existence/I just question/Our
modern needs” (“Garden”). Focus instead on his voice — a ragged, enraged
mongrel blend of Robert Plant and James Hetfield — and the Pearls’ surprising,
and refreshing, melodic restraint. They wring a lot of drama out of a few
declarative power chords swimming in echo. ~David Fricke Rolling Stone
1991.
Usually these reviews are usually less
personal, but this is one of the albums that I can count on one hand that I can
remember when I bought it, when I listened to it, and an album that I can hear
in my head from first to last note without hitting play on the stereo. 1991 was
a weird time personally and musically. I was 13, my father had passed a year
earlier, musically there was a strange shift happening that Classic Rock or
hair metal could not fill within me. I just didn’t know what was going to fill
that void.
13 and angry, scared, confused and
along comes this album that sounded like I felt. A bit quiet, unsure, heartbroken,
but angry as hell and ready to take on the world. It was one of the albums I
recall buying in the CD long box and the act of
listening to it was more of a ritual, as was the process for any new album, especially in the phenomenal music release year of 1991. My room had a strange Pacific Northwest
meets NYC studio vibe (I dare say, not bad for 13). Mood lighting, a breeze
blowing the vertical blinds. I hit play expecting songs more like Alive, a song that was released before
the album (very clever).
It was like nothing I had ever heard,
but also had a familiar
feel of rock roots updated for the end of the century. There
was raw emotion coupled with free flow ambient sounds thanks to the gifted producer
Rick Parashar, ebbs and flows
of energy, dynamic bass and guitar, combined with Eddie’s honest and raw vocals
and their cathartic delivery. Of course the videos for Even Flow and Jeremy
added to the love. As the years passed, I realized how complex the lyrics really
were. Songs about loss, homelessness, depression, love, bullying, sadness, passion, and anger. This was
Eddie’s album to, as the song goes, release a lot of the anger he had.
Now about how this masterpiece came to
be.
Following the shocking death of Andrew
Wood, the band wanted to start something new and started looking for a singer
for the new band, Mookie Blaylock. Armed with instrumental demos, former Red
Hot Chili Peppers drummer Jack Irons knew exactly who to sell the band to: a
surfer friend who was working at a gas station in San Diego – Eddie Vedder. So now
you have a band still reeling from the loss of their True North and a singer
who is young, angry, creatively impassioned, and ready to get out of the gate. With
demo in his mind, Eddie went surfing and came up with the lyrics to what would become
Alive and Once.
Recorded in less than a month due to
the fast that many songs were complete because they were demos started by Gossard, McCready, and Ament, but then gaps filled with Eddie’s lyrics.
And while we hear perfection, the band
hears overproduction: In subsequent years, band members have expressed dissatisfaction
with the way the album's mixing turned out.In 2001, Ament said, "I'd love
to remix Ten. Ed, for sure, would agree with me. It wouldn't be like
changing performances; just pull some of the reverb off it."* In 2006, Vedder said, "I can listen to the early
records [except] the first record...it's just the sound of the record. It was
kind of mixed in a way that was...it was kind of produced."**
What has given Ten the staying power and the honor of being considered one of the
top grunge albums since its release on August 27th, 1991? It has a timeless feel that arrived at the moment when many
kids my age were looking for something new. The whole world had changed and shifted seemingly overnight - communism was going away, the Soviet Union collapsed, the innocence that many of us had felt
in the 80’s was exchanged for uncertainty and angst. We were also going to save
the world. The Cold War kids had emerged victorious and we wanted to snowboard
and skateboard, shun the expected, and silo our teenage emotions into angry,
flannel covered, Doc Marten wearing music. The album was such a new complex sound for many of us filled with anger and true sentiment while Eddie screamed the way we all wanted to.
But also, this album is a memory Polaroid of sorts. When you hear the first notes of Once, the bass of Jeremy, or the slide into Porch, you're transported to a specific point of time in the universe. Sitting in your darkened room, your refuge, where plans are made to change the world, individuality is sacred, and feelings are so overwhelming. All of that is channeled into Stone's guitar that screams the opening chords to Alive, the meditative Oceans, or not really understanding the heartbreak in Black, but damn, you wish that song was written for you. Listening to Ten now allows us to reflect on how little we knew and how not super complex things really were for us juxtaposed to the politics of the world at the time.
* Weisbard, Eric, et al. "Ten Past Ten". Spin. August 2001.
** Hiatt, Brian. (June 20, 2006). Eddie Vedder's Embarrassing Tale: Naked in Public". Rolling Stone. Archived from the original on July 18, 2006. Retrieved April 28, 2008
Where it all
began Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles. Unbelievable what
has changed in 40 years in music alone and what a force MTV WAS.
Where
it all began Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles. Unbelievable
what has changed in 40 years in music alone and what a force MTV WAS.
Yes,
was. I don't count the more recent MTV
Video Music Awards or even The Jersey
Shore as marvels of pop culture as much I view them as train wrecks and bad
attempts and being influential. I honestly wish Lady Gaga and Beyoncé were
around twenty years ago, but alas I recognize that we need them now more than
ever.
MTV
helped my music addiction. Although radio sufficed until we got cable. I know
my music life would have been different had MTV not been created. Much of my
life growing up was shaped by MTV (shock): what to wear, what to listen to, how
to register to vote, even just background noise. I used to worship MTV : Remote Control, House of Style, Denis Leary,
Dial MTV, Club MTV (where I still cannot believe was filmed where I swim
everyday), Headbangers Ball - I
could not get enough MTV.
Where
did it all stop? Did the creation of the Real
World (the beginning of reality TV) become the beginning of the end of MTV?
It is a joke now that MTV doesn't actually play music videos around the clock
anymore. Think about it, MTV was so ground breaking and had such an impact on
music culture that Dire Straits used their slogan
I want my MTV in one of their songs.
Videos
-- you waited for new releases or just seeing your favorites. Culture Club,
Cyndi Lauper, David Bowie, Prince, George Michael, INXS, U2, Guns N Roses,
Motley Crue, Poison, Madonna … so much influence from them to me in a 4 minute
video. I wanted to preach about apartheid, wear Jean Paul Gualtier clothes,
walk the Sunset Strip, ride motorcycles and save the world thanks to them. I
learned the best dance moves for the Friday night dance and still think of the
videos to this day when I hear certain songs. Hysteria by Def Leppard, Losing
My Religion by REM and Girls Girls Girls by Motley Crue have visual
cues in my mind when I hear them. To be honest, even though I love her, I can't
picture Poker Face or Bad Romance when I hear Lady Gaga on the
radio. Take a random survey and many people my age and older will describe a
song from that generation though it's video.
I
don't remember my first MTV experience. I do know that I HAD to watch Dial MTV and the Top 20 Countdown to see what videos were #1. I remember wanting to
go to NY to audition to be a dancer on Club
MTV. VIDEOS people, this was about videos. They played them all the time -
with only night time shows like the Half
Hour Comedy Hour, or House of Style. I do remember my first
Video Music Awards. Yes the VMA's to all of you acronymizers - the giving of
the Moon Man Trophy. It was where people dared to be outspoken: Madonna and her
crotch grabbing, the Axl Rose and Vince Neil saga, and Pee Wee Herman asking us
if we had Heard any good jokes lately?
It
was from one of these performances on the Video Music Awards that created buzz
for a show to be titled Unplugged.
Believe it or not, Jersey Boys Bon Jovi and Sambora's acoustic version of Wanted
Dead or Alive caught people so off guard that they wanted more and demanded
a show. Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Stevie Ray
Vaughan, Eric Clapton, and Alice in Chains were only a handful of artists that performed some
of their greatest moments acoustically.
Late
nights, before the Howard Stern show on WWOR, I would tune into the Headbangers Ball with Riki Rachtman.
When I was weaning myself off Paula Abdul and New Kids on the Block (do you
notice that when I grew up we spelled things out) I had to turn to late nights
to get my fill of what metal was not top 20. Towards 1991, the vibe began to
change as the top interviewees were Mother Love Bone and Alice in Chains.
Sadly, every time Layne Staley appeared on the show, the more out there he was.
MTV
also paid respects to legends when they dedicated weekends to them: Queen, U2,
Madonna. You learned everything about the artists and more. When was the last
time you turned on MTV and learned that Freddie Mercury was from Zanzibar or
watched U2 videos A-Z?
Kurt
Loder did his best to bring us the news, which sadly also included some
of music's saddest moments: the loss of Stevie Ray Vaughan, Freddie
Mercury, Michael Hutchence, Layne Staley, Kurt Cobain, Aliyah, Jeff Buckley
just to name a few. And MTV news also pioneered with getting my generation
involved in politics: Rock the Vote. I set up a voter registration booth for
the 1996 election (but I was not allowed to don a flag, ala Madonna). We
watched MTV broadcast the end of the Cold War and Heavy Metal Music breaking
boundaries in the USSR.
And
then IT happened. MTV created a new "reality" show where they put
strangers into a loft in NYC and filmed them 24/7. I admit, I was hooked (and
had a slight crush on Andre, who did call me by the way that summer). It was a
novelty, but it was also pure - and no one "acted" for the cameras.
But, as it became more popular, the call for shenanigans and craziness won and
we had Road Rules and the Real World putting people in the Emergency Department
with alcohol poisoning. It was the beginning of the end.
You
cannot say that musicians make fewer videos now- or that people don't enjoy
them as much. We all know the Internet probably had something to do with the
downfall of the videos on MTV but not the downfall of the heart behind the
channel. Yes, generations change and so do music tastes, but is it too hard to
understand why MTV fails to be what it was. Maybe we are at the bottom of a
curve and there will be a comeback. Now more than ever
